who have you upset lately?

I seem to be going through a phase in my life where by simply being me I unwittingly upset every family member.

Is it me being drastically insensitive or is it that others are highly sensitive to me once again voicing my opinion.

I started my adult life being outspoken and completely honest to the point that others baulked at my "truthful ways" and were sometimes shocked at the way it was expressed. Where others see differences and blockages, I see few community/cultural barriers, I see opportunities and love.

Over recent years I have learnt to be more considerate to others' needs and feelings and actually started being overly shy about expressing my opinion and needs, somewhat retreating into myself for fear of hurting others or upsetting the apple cart during difficult times. What this meant was that I ended up being the one that was repressed and overwhelmed with the frustration of watching others behave badly or form opinions that were more blinkered than objective. By repressing my feelings and ideas no one is going to learn to change their ways or release their fears. I am simply prepertrating a deep set pattern of behaviour - no matter what you do DON'T rock the boat!

In the last month I have started being a lot more my old self in giving myself permission to speak up when I see someone judge a situation in a prejudiced way. I have realised that I can no longer protect others from their out dated beliefs or stand by and watch others repeat old family, cultural patterns based on fears and suspicions of the past which keep them restricted and limited and really unhappy.

Now I no longer make excuses for people who choose to caste aspersions on others in a blinkered fashion nor do I find it easy to keep quite where certain behaviours are being perpertrated by adults who know better, I do not stand for prejudice nor do I agree with caste/cultural barriers and preconceptions.

Sadly this means that I am once again excluded from the family that I love. They believe that by being vocal in my opinions I am somehow betraying the family.

This situation is painful and overwhelming if I let it become so, what is compelling me to remain loyal to my views and beliefs is knowing that old behaviours and prejudices only serve to limit me and keep me imprisoned in a way of behaving that takes away my free will and erodes away the faith that I am working hard on rebuilding in my creator.

Do I want to continue outdated family patterns that block my freedom of choice or do I want to be free to co-create a more fulfilled life? Do I want to be a victim of circumstance or do I want to be the designer of my destiny?

At this time I am choosing to walk with open eyes and open heart, still loving those who reject me, knowing that their fears create the barriers they are too frightened to see.

Change is frightening and it can seem like a long walk in the dark but the brave sometimes have to appear as fools to help others leave behind their familial cages.